Saturday, May 3, 2008

Bella & Robert's Not So Excellent Adventure!!!


Ok, so Robert and I go grocery shopping at VG's, all in all, uneventful and if you have heard about my shopping adventures with Robert, you will know that that is a remarkable feat within itself.

Then we get home and Robert is on the back deck playing in the sandbox, while I bring in the groceries and put them away. Again, uneventful, life is good.

I make my sweet boy a little lunch and he eats it outside while I am still working on the groceries. What a glorious day!

Robert then comes in, it looks like it's going to rain, so he is ready to come in. I get out the turkey, lettuce, canola mayo and whole wheat pita (hey, I can eat healthy, I just choose not to most times, lol/sigh..) I'm getting ready to chillax, kick back and have lunch, ahhhhh! Yep, it's just the little things in life....

Oh, wait, the sandbox is still open, better go close that before it rains...now....most of you know how anal, pessimistic, end of the world is coming I am...lol...ok, I am exaggerating for those of you who don't know me that well, but I am someone who always comes prepared, ask Velo about me, he will tell you all about it, lol...so...usually, when I go outside and Robert is inside, I unlock one of the other doors, because the little precious son of mine loves to lock us out of the house...but, he was in the other room and I was just going out for a sec...so, it's ok, right?

___WRONG___

---LOCK!---

===GIGGLE===

"Crap!" except, I didn't say crap...but anyway, it' all right, this is not the first time, won't be the last time, he will eventually open the door for me, no big deal, just a little frustrating. I can deal with it though.

So, I sit at the patio table, with my darling boy looking at me, pointing and laughing...great, I'm a freak show for an almost 4 year old, I am so very proud of my accomplishments! Then, he starts calling me, "Mom...oh, Mommy....!" and I am ignoring him, figuring this is the sure fire way to get him to open the door...taps knuckles, stares at deck wishing it was already cleaned and stained because it sure looks tired....but no, no door opening is going on...ugh.

But then, wait, what is that I hear...Robert is at the laundry room door and is he, yes he is...he is OPENING the door!! I get up and run over there and say, "Oh, Robert, you opened the door....."

SLAM!

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He came outside to join me and locked us both out. "Oh Fudge!", except I didn't say Fudge.

So, then he starts crying because the light bulb went off and he has discovered that he no longer has access to his toys, his juice boxes, and that now he is part of the freak show and the cat is laughing at us now....life sucks.

Ok....so, this is all right, I can deal with this....we start walking down the driveway and now I am in search of a cell phone, any cell phone, to call Velo to come home and rescue us. Should I turn left, right, left...right, it is....

Now, I should tell you, if you have never been to our house...everyone has at least an acre and many homes sit way off of the road..so just walking next door can be an adventure...alrighty, the first house, I don't see their cars, they're not home...on to the 2nd house, walk way up there, in the humidity, thankfully it is not raining...yet. The dog is definitely home, he won't stop barking, enough already, doggie....ok, they're not home....on to the next house, and another dog, this one is outside, but he's small, but nope, they're not home, either....does anyone stay home anymore???

So, down the long and winding road, we go, me, in funky slip ons that belong to Zach and are too big for me and Robert in his frog clogs and his blanket dragging along...what, you didn't think he didn't have his blanket, did you? It goes everywhere with him, even on this journey.

I need water, I could drink a mud puddle at this point, but ok, I will try to think lemony thoughts to get my juices flowing instead...hooray!!! What is that I see in the distance? My lawn fertilizing guy at someone else's house! Whoo-hoo! I flag him down and ask to use his cell phone..call Velo...who, is not happy about leaving work, but then if you know Velo, you should have expected that response, the guy is a workaholic! But after a few anxiety-ridden exchanges, he agrees to come home.

So, Robert and I turn around to make the journey back up the hill, in the humidity, in our ill-fitting shoes and blanket dragging behind us. Then, Mr. Fertilizer Guy creeps up behind us and tells us, that gee, he is going to our house next, lol, alrighty then, we'll see you there, I say, with my sweaty, red face smiling away...thinking to myself that I wish that I was anywhere but here, in fact, I'd really love to be in Istanbul, Turkey, but that's another blog entry....lol

We make it home, hang out, pulling weeds, reading the free local paper that was delivered while we were away and basically just waited for our knight in shining armour to arrive...and he did, here's Velo to save the day!!! Whatta guy!!!

So, all's well that end's well, it didn't even rain until we got in the house....life is good!!! :)

2 comments:

The Nester said...

Oh, i just knew that it was gonna rain and hail and thunder and lighting and snow and tornado and hurricane on you. I'm so glad it didn't but that would have made a fantasticly funny story into a gloriously funny story!

Still Learning said...

That story was hysterical!! It sounds like my life.

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